Thursday, December 22, 2016

Send 'em all home ... !

(A fictitious, cranky Irish-American writes ... )                                          
Trrump will make America great again

Hey, let’s get rid of ‘em!

Every last one of ‘em. Send them back to where they came from. Some of them don’t even speak English and, if they do, it’s a kind of English I don’t understand.

How dare they, come over here and take our jobs. After we told them we’re the greatest country in the world.

If they miss mammy and daddy so much, why don’t they take a one-way flight home?

Rather than crowding out those goddamn ghettoes in Boston and the Bronx.

I know, I know. One of them fixed my car. He did a good job and he charged a good price. But, Hell, if I knew he was illegal I would have made sure he was sent home.

I know. Another one of them minds my grandkids. She charges a great price. My daughter laughs when she boasts about how little she costs. Up here from Nicaragua or El Salvador or wherever, undercutting our own people, stealing our jobs . . .

Another guy does my garden. He’s cheaper than anyone around here. But, hell, he has no business being in this country if he hasn’t got the papers.

And one of them served me a beer last Friday night. If I knew he was ILLEGAL, I'd have called the cops and spat out the darn beer. Even if he's been here for 20 years.

Hell, my parents and grandparents worked hard to make decent lives for themselves in this country and how dare these folks come in and ruin it all for us, tearing our land apart.

Don’t tell me about their parents, sad and lonely at home. Didn’t our ancestors take a one-way ticket to this paradise and they had to fight for everything they earned.

They weren’t looking for sympathy when they got off the boat, unlike these soft Irish kids these days with their political campaigns.

Can’t they just go back to where they came from?

We all know that blacks belong in Africa, Latinos should be down in Mexico, and those Irish should be drinkin' with the leprechauns out on the green fields.

They have no business being here.

Want’s that?

Where am I from?

Oh, I’m from Ireland. Well my grandfolks left there nearly a hundred years ago, but that’s where I’m from. Been back to the home place, visited the cousins, and I think I saw a leprechaun.

I’m Irish, you know.

Even though I hate these new ones, jumping off the planes, overstaying their visas, and stealing our jobs.

Somebody told me there’s 50,000 of the buggers. That’s a lot of people stealing good honest-to-God American jobs.

But at least they’re not Mexicans, with their brown skin and funny way of talkin’.

They are in America now and they should speak English, just like the rest of us.

If you come to this country, you must live the American way. And if you’re not legal, you should get the hell back home.

I’m as open minded as the next guy, but I’m sick of these people coming to this country and stealing our jobs.

Hell, if I saw those two million starving Irish arrive in New York in the 1840s, I’d have sent them all home. Because they were “illegal” by today’s standards.

Let’s build a big wall and get them to pay for it.

Let’s get the great Donald to send them all home.

Let’s brand those who are Muslims, so that we know who they are. Put a big mark on their clothes so we can avoid them in the malls.

Let’s tell those damn Latinos to speak English, the land of this country (because nobody speaks Sioux, Apache, or  Cherokee any more).

Let’s tell those damn Irish to find their way to the airport and take the first flight home. One-way guys, because there’s no coming back.

Let’s keep this country for the natives, the ones who belong here and made this place great.
So America will be great again.

Merry Christmas, everyone, and make sure to send those god-damn immigrants home.

Ciaran Tierney is a journalist, blogger, and digital storyteller, based in Galway, Ireland. You can view his Facebook page here

He doesn't condone "illegal" immigration, but if all the non-natives left the United States there wouldn't be many people left outside the "reservations". And Ireland would get pretty crowded if all 40 million came "home".

No comments:

Post a Comment