Thursday, December 22, 2016

Send 'em all home ... !

(A fictitious, cranky Irish-American writes ... )                                          
Trrump will make America great again

Hey, let’s get rid of ‘em!

Every last one of ‘em. Send them back to where they came from. Some of them don’t even speak English and, if they do, it’s a kind of English I don’t understand.

How dare they, come over here and take our jobs. After we told them we’re the greatest country in the world.

If they miss mammy and daddy so much, why don’t they take a one-way flight home?

Rather than crowding out those goddamn ghettoes in Boston and the Bronx.

I know, I know. One of them fixed my car. He did a good job and he charged a good price. But, Hell, if I knew he was illegal I would have made sure he was sent home.

I know. Another one of them minds my grandkids. She charges a great price. My daughter laughs when she boasts about how little she costs. Up here from Nicaragua or El Salvador or wherever, undercutting our own people, stealing our jobs . . .

Another guy does my garden. He’s cheaper than anyone around here. But, hell, he has no business being in this country if he hasn’t got the papers.

And one of them served me a beer last Friday night. If I knew he was ILLEGAL, I'd have called the cops and spat out the darn beer. Even if he's been here for 20 years.

Hell, my parents and grandparents worked hard to make decent lives for themselves in this country and how dare these folks come in and ruin it all for us, tearing our land apart.

Don’t tell me about their parents, sad and lonely at home. Didn’t our ancestors take a one-way ticket to this paradise and they had to fight for everything they earned.

They weren’t looking for sympathy when they got off the boat, unlike these soft Irish kids these days with their political campaigns.

Can’t they just go back to where they came from?

We all know that blacks belong in Africa, Latinos should be down in Mexico, and those Irish should be drinkin' with the leprechauns out on the green fields.

They have no business being here.

Want’s that?

Where am I from?

Oh, I’m from Ireland. Well my grandfolks left there nearly a hundred years ago, but that’s where I’m from. Been back to the home place, visited the cousins, and I think I saw a leprechaun.

I’m Irish, you know.

Even though I hate these new ones, jumping off the planes, overstaying their visas, and stealing our jobs.

Somebody told me there’s 50,000 of the buggers. That’s a lot of people stealing good honest-to-God American jobs.

But at least they’re not Mexicans, with their brown skin and funny way of talkin’.

They are in America now and they should speak English, just like the rest of us.

If you come to this country, you must live the American way. And if you’re not legal, you should get the hell back home.

I’m as open minded as the next guy, but I’m sick of these people coming to this country and stealing our jobs.

Hell, if I saw those two million starving Irish arrive in New York in the 1840s, I’d have sent them all home. Because they were “illegal” by today’s standards.

Let’s build a big wall and get them to pay for it.

Let’s get the great Donald to send them all home.

Let’s brand those who are Muslims, so that we know who they are. Put a big mark on their clothes so we can avoid them in the malls.

Let’s tell those damn Latinos to speak English, the land of this country (because nobody speaks Sioux, Apache, or  Cherokee any more).

Let’s tell those damn Irish to find their way to the airport and take the first flight home. One-way guys, because there’s no coming back.

Let’s keep this country for the natives, the ones who belong here and made this place great.
So America will be great again.

Merry Christmas, everyone, and make sure to send those god-damn immigrants home.

Ciaran Tierney is a journalist, blogger, and digital storyteller, based in Galway, Ireland. You can view his Facebook page here

He doesn't condone "illegal" immigration, but if all the non-natives left the United States there wouldn't be many people left outside the "reservations". And Ireland would get pretty crowded if all 40 million came "home".

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Let's hire a racist

Let’s hire a racist.

Because it’s good for ratings and we all know that’s all that really matters in this “post-truth” world.

It doesn’t matter that she referred to refugees fleeing terror as “cockroaches”, because we know she will get people talking.                                                  
Why would those  "cockroaches" want to escape this?

She will revive our flagging show.                                
It doesn’t matter if her country is partly responsible for the terror inflicted upon them, for forcing thousands to flee their homes.

She says she doesn’t care when she sees them drowning from capsized boats or queuing up for food on a cold Greek island.

She wants to set gunboats upon them, because they have no right to land on our shores.

She mocks them when they live in squalor, when they flee bombs and bullets in search of a better life.

“Make no mistake, these migrants are like cockroaches,” she says. They are a threat to her beloved society and built to survive a nuclear bomb.

An ideal guest for a light entertainment show on a Friday night, don’t you think?

Let's overlook the fact that her country, the UK, has played an appalling role in supporting the kind of "rebels" who terrorise ordinary people and imposed Sharia Law across huge swathes of Syria and Iraq.

Let’s hire a racist. Sure, isn’t it fantastic that we don't need to import one from the UK when we have a home-grown one of our own?

“Our own” – now, perhaps they are the Irish words of the year in "post-truth" 2016.

Why look after refugees living on €19.10 per week for the past 15 years when we have so many homeless people of our own?

Why allow Muslims into this country when we have so many people lying on trolleys in hospital wards?

Funny, how these migrants always threaten the poorest in society – not the tiny elite who bankrupt the country eight years ago or the multinational corporations who have no interest in paying a proper level of tax in the Emerald Isle?

Columnist Ian O'Doherty: racism's good for ratings

Funny how we stage protests to make sure that Apple locate their factory in Athenry, but none at all to reclaim the estimated €13 billion plus they owe us in taxes.

Yes, we do need to talk about “our own” homelessness, health crisis, and the lack of job security faced by so many.

But do we really need to hand over our TV screens to people with false claims about the number of rapes carried out by Muslims?

It's easy to forget there are 1.6 billion Muslims in the world when people who thrive on shocking us insist that there are "swarms" of them arriving on our shores, hell-bent on destroying our wonderful way of life in the West.

Most of the Muslims I met in at least 15 trips to countries such as Egypt, Jordan, and Morocco have no interest in invading the "infidels" in Britain and Ireland. They are ordinary people who just want peaceful, happy lives.

Do we really need to mock the unfortunates fleeing places like Aleppo in terror only to face derision and racism on our shores?

But it’s ok to feature commentators who thrive on hatred, because we know they’ll get people talking and watching our fading shows.

If people like Katie Hopkins or Ian O’Doherty were in New York in the 1840s, they would have mocked the starving Irish as they fell off the ‘coffin ships’ on their way to the ghettoes of the Bronx and Hell’s Kitchen.

They would have called for the gunboats to turn the starving Irish back as those desperate people sought new lives so far from home.

And now we invite the kind of people who would have erected “No blacks, no Irish, no dogs” signs in London 50 years ago onto our Friday night entertainment shows.

Trump's election has emboldened racists
on this side of the Atlantic
But it’s ok. We Irish can mock those who voted for Trump because, yes, he’s a racist, sexist, xenophobe.

Even though we now have racist, sexist, xenophobic buffoons of our own.

Who cares about ordinary people fleeing bombs and bullets in terror as they try to build new lives for their children?

Because the only thing that matters is that we look after “our own”.

And racists are good for ratings in 2016.

It could be argued that those who give people with xenophobic views a platform are just as guilty as the racists themselves.

Whether we like it or not, our annual €160 TV licence fee is being used to invite people who get a kick out of spreading fear and hatred onto the airwaves.

But don't complain about the lack of informed debate guys, because complaints will get you nowhere as Katie Hopkins showed. 

Tough luck, because racism's good for ratings ... and we should only look after "our own". 

Walking through the ruins of eastern Aleppo this week

Ciaran Tierney is a journalist, blogger, and digital storyteller, based in Galway, Ireland. You can hire Ciaran to ghost write your company's blog. 

Check out Ciaran Tierney Digital Storyteller on Facebook.